When I was going through my darkest days I found it difficult to express what I was feeling. So instead of talking to anyone about it, I wrote poetry. I would usually write my poems in the middle of the night as I listened to depressing music and cried. After I would be so emotionally exhausted that I would finally be able to sleep. There is the one poem I wrote that can be found under the tab labeled 'poetry' and here is another one that I wrote around the same time. I've only shown a few select people my poems because they are so personal and mostly really depressing. When I was in that mindset, finding the words came so much easier than when I wasn't. I think writing these poems during those nights may have saved my life. Poetry allows you to hear the inner thoughts of ones soul. I love poetry because of how it makes the ugliest truths of reality seem so tragically beautiful. I think poetry reflects us as humans in general. I think we are all tragically beautiful in our own ways.
Escape By: Casey Velarde
The sky is a dark gray
from the clouds it starts to rain
the mud hides the dead
as my tears reveal the pain
I hide my face from the world
afraid it's a dead give away
that these thoughts, they live
and they are here to stay
I don't want to do it
but the thoughts come from inside
the emotions overwhelm me
like an unruly tide
The waves crash over me
and they pull me under
struggling for air
I'm forced to surrender
I release the tension
my body feels free
I'm left there to float
in a sea of serenity
My only regret
is that you weren't there
to watch me struggle
for my last breath of air
to watch the color drain from my face
and see the blood spread
to find the gun in my hand
as I lie there dead
You don't know the pain I felt
every single day
or heard the thoughts that screamed in my head
the ones that just wouldn't go away
I tried my best
to deal with what I felt
but I just couldn't handle it
not by myself
Gone forever
scary thought, I know
I just felt like
it was my time to go
It was too hard to be strong
I didn't know another way
to escape my thoughts and fears
and to finally get away
from the clouds it starts to rain
the mud hides the dead
as my tears reveal the pain
I hide my face from the world
afraid it's a dead give away
that these thoughts, they live
and they are here to stay
I don't want to do it
but the thoughts come from inside
the emotions overwhelm me
like an unruly tide
The waves crash over me
and they pull me under
struggling for air
I'm forced to surrender
I release the tension
my body feels free
I'm left there to float
in a sea of serenity
My only regret
is that you weren't there
to watch me struggle
for my last breath of air
to watch the color drain from my face
and see the blood spread
to find the gun in my hand
as I lie there dead
You don't know the pain I felt
every single day
or heard the thoughts that screamed in my head
the ones that just wouldn't go away
I tried my best
to deal with what I felt
but I just couldn't handle it
not by myself
Gone forever
scary thought, I know
I just felt like
it was my time to go
It was too hard to be strong
I didn't know another way
to escape my thoughts and fears
and to finally get away
"Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things" - T.S. Eliot
"Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility" - William Wordsworth
"A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds" - Percy Bysshe Shelley