My Past
I have had a close relationship with depression and self-harm. I was diagnosed my sophomore year of high school with hypothyroidism which can cause depression. This was after I took a few more prescription pills than was recommended and had to have my mom take me to the hospital where I had to tell her about the dark thoughts that consumed my mind. I knew I had a great life and no reason to complain, but I still couldn’t help all of the dark thoughts. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just tell myself to be happy and then be happy.
I refused to take the anti-depressants they gave me because I was in denial. During this time, I hit rock bottom. My senior year of high school I cut my wrists for the first time and continued over the course of 6 months. My younger sister found out and told my mother. My mom made me go to a therapist and to take my pills. I never found a therapist that I liked enough to stick with, but I did visit a few and through all of their help and my medication I found a way to cope with and minimize my dark thoughts. I ended up relapsing over the next few years a few different times, which made it feel even more like a rollercoaster of emotions.
Now in my senior year of college I don’t have a therapist anymore, have been self-harm free for one and a half years, and still working on taking my pills regularly. I feel like I don’t see a pitch-black tunnel anymore, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I want to do now is help others see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that they aren’t alone.
I refused to take the anti-depressants they gave me because I was in denial. During this time, I hit rock bottom. My senior year of high school I cut my wrists for the first time and continued over the course of 6 months. My younger sister found out and told my mother. My mom made me go to a therapist and to take my pills. I never found a therapist that I liked enough to stick with, but I did visit a few and through all of their help and my medication I found a way to cope with and minimize my dark thoughts. I ended up relapsing over the next few years a few different times, which made it feel even more like a rollercoaster of emotions.
Now in my senior year of college I don’t have a therapist anymore, have been self-harm free for one and a half years, and still working on taking my pills regularly. I feel like I don’t see a pitch-black tunnel anymore, but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I want to do now is help others see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that they aren’t alone.
Depression and Relationships
Living with depression has caused many strains in my relationships with friends, family and my boyfriend. The problems occur when I, myself, don't know how to express how I'm feeling or why. Sometimes I just break down after being perfectly happy one second before. I don't know why this happens, something just snaps and I can't control it. You might say this is every girl you have ever known. This is different though. This is depression. It happens more often and always leaves me with a panic attack.
My family has been very supportive, but before we knew what it was I was considered dramatic and always looking for attention. My sister and I would fight every day because I was so sensitive and she never understood and would push my buttons until I couldn't take it. Things got bad, but now everything is better. I even lost one of my friends in high school because in class she told my sister that I was cutting and it was just for attention and I needed to stop being so dramatic. It seemed like nobody understood what I was going through and I was alone. Now that I have learned to cope with my depression things have been better, but it is still tough.
My family has been very supportive, but before we knew what it was I was considered dramatic and always looking for attention. My sister and I would fight every day because I was so sensitive and she never understood and would push my buttons until I couldn't take it. Things got bad, but now everything is better. I even lost one of my friends in high school because in class she told my sister that I was cutting and it was just for attention and I needed to stop being so dramatic. It seemed like nobody understood what I was going through and I was alone. Now that I have learned to cope with my depression things have been better, but it is still tough.