It's really easy to hate yourself, to notice everything you dislike and focus on that instead of all the great things. It's not easy to love yourself. It takes time. It takes practice. You have to find what works best for you. Don't know where to start? There are so many different ideas out there and it may be difficult to pick a starting place. See what others are doing and then see what works best for you. Here are a couple ways I'm learning to love myself: |
Positive Self Affirmations
I used to have a really bad habit of talking down on myself because I felt like I deserved the punishment. I had this one therapist who told me to try saying ten positive statements about myself. I thought this was weird because he told me to repeat the statements out loud in front of a mirror and to keep a copy of the positive statements somewhere I would see it often throughout the day. I did this twice a day, once in the morning and once at night. At first I would get emotional and angry while repeating the statements because to me they were lies. After doing this for a week or so it started becoming easier to do. I started to realize that it was working. I started to feel like what I was saying was true. Now I don't repeat the statements but whenever I find myself talking down on me, I stop and remind myself of my positive affirmations. |
This is still a work in progress for me, but I am really happy with the progress I have been seeing. If you are having trouble creating your own positive affirmations, check out this post from another blog. I found that it may be helpful for others.
http://www.thehappiempire.com/2012/03/create-your-perfect-personal-affirmation/
http://www.thehappiempire.com/2012/03/create-your-perfect-personal-affirmation/
Perfection Doesn't Exist
One of the hardest things I had to learn was that perfection doesn't exist. I have always been the hardest critic of myself. I did this because if I pointed out my faults first I thought it would hurt less when other people would point them out. I always had to be the best at everything. Sometimes I still do. I didn't allow myself to make mistakes and if I did I would punish myself for it. My mom would tell my all the time that I needed to not be so hard on myself. I cried when I got my first B! My parents were so proud of me, but for some reason I thought it made me a failure. | As I continued on throughout the years I developed anxiety from obsessing over making everything I did perfect. And just this past year I found that I slightly have social anxiety as well. So when I go into public or big crowds, I get so nervous that everyone is staring at me and judging me that I sometimes even have panic attacks. My last bad panic attack was during my sisters pictures for her senior prom. We were at the Venetian and there were so many people. I was already feeling overwhelmed that day and was running late to take pictures. I didn't know where I was supposed to meet them and the directions I was given weren't helpful at all which made me even more frustrated. Once I got there I was already almost in tears and there wasn't anywhere I could go that was quiet so I could gather myself. I started to hyperventilate and cry and I couldn't stop. Again I was in the middle of a huge crowd and everyone who passed by was staring. I was so embarrassed and that made calming down even harder. I had just wanted that day to be perfect, not for me but for my sister and when it wasn't I couldn't handle it. Nothing went terribly wrong, but it wasn't perfect like I had wanted and expected. |
To this day I find myself seeking perfection and have to remind myself that as long as I'm doing the best I can then that's all that matters. I found that this blog post perfectly explained the connection between perfectionism and anxiety and suggest that you take a look at it. It's really interesting information!
http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2014/05/the-link-between-perfectionism-and-anxiety/
http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2014/05/the-link-between-perfectionism-and-anxiety/
"It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's NECESSARY"